What Would Mr. Darcy Do? (pemberley variations) Page 5

  Remember, man, you will see her for yourself in only a few weeks, he admonished himself. Patience!

  His thoughts were interrupted by a gentle knocking on the door. Georgiana entered tentatively in response to his call. “Fitzwilliam? May I speak to you for a moment?” she asked.

  He attempted to calm himself. “Of course. What can I do for you?”

  She looked at him oddly. “Is anything the matter?” she asked.

  Of course! She had just received a letter from Elizabeth, and he was showing absolutely no interest in it. No wonder she was confused.

  “No, nothing at all, Georgiana. What does Miss Bennet have to say today?”

  Somewhat tentatively, she held out a folded sheet of paper. “She asked me to give you this.”

  He all but snatched it out of her hand. Georgiana smiled to see him returned to normal on the subject of Miss Bennet. “I will just go back to my letter, then?” she suggested timidly.

  “Very tactful, dear,” he responded with a laugh as she exited.

  He was pleased to see that his hands barely trembled as he opened the letter.

  Dear Mr. Darcy,

  I hope you will forgive the impropriety of my addressing this to you directly; it is a liberty I take out of concern for your sister on her upcoming visit to Longbourn. Sir, I regret having to raise an unpleasant matter, but, as you are perhaps aware, my youngest sister recently married and moved to the far north. While it is certain that neither she nor her husband will be in attendance in Hertfordshire during the time of Miss Darcy’s visit, it is likewise certain that her name will be raised repeatedly by members of my family, and I certainly would not wish Miss Darcy to be taken by surprise by mention of Mrs. Wickham. I defer to your greater authority as to whether it is best for you to discuss this with her in advance, or if it is something best addressed only when she arrives, in which case I will of course be prepared to handle the question in whatever way you see fit. Please consider yourself at liberty to share any information regarding my sister’s situation that you deem appropriate.

  Blast Wickham! Would he never stop haunting him? This was hardly what he hoped to hear from Elizabeth. He continued:

  On a happier subject, I can safely say that Mr. Bingley and my sister are so deliriously happy as to be occasionally somewhat painful to those of us whose sources of such pleasure may be at a more distant remove. I remind myself that time will heal all these ills, but patience has never been one of my stronger virtues. Perhaps I should endeavor to follow your excellent example and make a study of the strengths and limitations of self-control, instead. Perchance you would be willing to offer me a review of the subject after your arrival at Netherfield?

  Affectionately yours, EB

  If Mr. Gardiner’s letter had surprised him, Elizabeth’s left him in a state of astonishment. He forced himself to peruse it several times, and even after he finally convinced himself he was reading it correctly, his amazement was such that he could not bring himself immediately to believe she had truly meant the words she had written. Whether his shock was greatest from Elizabeth’s admission of missing him, her provocative flirtation, or the completely compromising adieu was impossible to determine.

  As his astonishment began to fade, it was replaced by a sensation of heartfelt delight such as he had never felt before. Elizabeth wanted to see him! In his mind, he could picture her looking at him with that expression of warm welcome which she had worn so often for him in his dreams, but never in reality.

  He read the letter once more, then folded it and placed it in his pocket next to a certain handkerchief. Decisively, he strode off in search of his valet, whom he informed of the immediate need to prepare for a brief trip. That accomplished, he searched out Georgiana in the music room, and informed her that business called him away for a few days.

  Georgiana looked concerned for a moment, then gave a bright smile. “Please do say hello to your business for me when you see her,” she said with an innocent look.

  He gave her a look of mock sternness, but was in far too high spirits to argue the point with her.

  * * *

  As Bingley rode up to the paddock for his daily visit, Kitty, from her post in the window seat, announced, “There is a gentleman with him, mamma. Who can it be?”

  “Some acquaintance or other, my dear, I suppose; I am sure I do not know.”

  “La!” replied Kitty, “It looks just like that man that used to be with him before. Mr. what’s his name. That tall, proud man.”

  “Good gracious! Mr. Darcy!—and so it does I vow. Well, any friend of Mr. Bingley’s will always be welcome here to be sure; but else I must say that I hate the very sight of him.”

  Jane looked at Elizabeth with surprise and concern. She knew how much her sister had been both longing for and dreading this encounter, and felt for the awkwardness that must attend Elizabeth, in seeing him for the first time since the events in Derbyshire.

  The color which had been driven from Elizabeth’s face by Kitty’s announcement returned for half a minute with an additional glow, and a smile of delight added lustre to her eyes, as she thought for that space of time, that his affection and wishes must still be unshaken. But she would not be secure. There was too much that could have altered.

  Her thoughts then flew to the letter she had written to him from Gracechurch Street. Would he have received it already? She frantically counted back the days since posting it, and deduced that it certainly could have arrived by this time, but of course he might well have left Pemberley before its arrival. She closed her eyes as she thought of the immodest things she had written in it—what must he be thinking of her?

  “Let me first see how he behaves,” said she to herself. “It will then be early enough for expectation.” She sat intently at work, striving to be composed, and without daring to lift up her eyes as the servant was approaching the door. On the gentlemen’s appearing, she curtsied with her usual smile to Bingley, then turned to Darcy to find his serious gaze upon her. Immediately the memory of their last parting came into her mind, and an awareness of all that her family did not know; then, cognizant that she was blushing under his regard, she sat back down again to her work, with an eagerness which it did not often command. She ventured only one more glance at Darcy. He looked serious as usual; and she thought, more as he had been used to look in Hertfordshire, than as she had seen him at Pemberley. But perhaps he could not in her mother’s presence be what he was before her uncle and aunt. It was a painful, but not an improbable, conjecture.

  Darcy, fortunate in finding himself rapidly dismissed by Mrs. Bennet in favor of her civilities to Mr. Bingley, took the opportunity to sit in the chair nearest Elizabeth. As so often in the past, he was silent, seeming content merely to be near her. Elizabeth herself felt far from calm, and was perturbed by her acute awareness of his proximity.

  “Have you come from Pemberley, Mr. Darcy?” asked Elizabeth, carefully watching her embroidery.

  “Yes, I only arrived at Netherfield late yesterday.”

  “It is early yet for a hunting party.”

  “I did not come to go hunting.”

  Elizabeth glanced up and met his eyes. His intent gaze was on her; she had forgotten the danger of losing herself in those dark eyes. A slight smile touched the corners of his mouth, and her spirits fluttered in response. Forcibly collecting her thoughts, she said, “I am sure Mr. Bingley is most happy to have your company, especially since his visit to Pemberley earlier this summer was cut short.”

  “I am very happy to be here.”

  He has received the letter, she thought with agitation. Something had altered in his demeanor since they had last met, some sense, perhaps, of assurance. Aloud, she said, “I hope Miss Darcy was well when you saw her last.”

  “Quite well. She greatly enjoys your correspondence,” he replied. “Your last letter was a particular favorite, I believe.”

  “I… am always glad to hear from her. I hope it will allow me to know her better; s
he seems less shy in her letters.”

  “Sometimes there are things that are easier to say in a letter than in person, I believe.”

  “I suspect you are correct, sir,” she responded, her cheeks flushed.

  The conversation lapsed, and they sat in silence for some minutes, listening to the cheerful discussion of wedding plans across the room.

  “They seem very happy,” Darcy commented.

  “Yes, I believe they are. I suspect that we may owe thanks to you for Mr. Bingley’s precipitous return to Netherfield.”

  “It was long overdue,” he acknowledged.

  Elizabeth wondered how anyone in the room could possibly be oblivious to the rising tension between the two of them. Her cheeks felt hot enough to make her long for a fan.

  In some desperation, she said, “Mr. Darcy, would you care to view our gardens? They are particularly lovely at this time of year.”

  Darcy’s smile grew deeper. “A delightful idea, Miss Bennet.”

  When Elizabeth told her mother of this intention, Mrs. Bennet pulled her aside into the hallway. “An excellent plan, Lizzy,” she whispered. “That will keep him out of Mr. Bingley’s way. I hope you will not mind it too much: it is all for Jane’s sake, you know.” Her daughter could not help feeling slightly amused by this interpretation.

  Elizabeth was more than relieved to be leaving the stifling confines of the crowded drawing room. Stepping outside, she closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath of the fresh air. Feeling revitalized, she favored Darcy with an unrestrained smile.

  Darcy’s eyes warmed in response, and Elizabeth found her pulse quickening. As they began their progress across the lawn, Elizabeth found herself walking closer to Darcy than was strictly necessary. She was amazed that she could feel at the same time both so agitated and so content.

  “Miss Bennet?”

  “Yes, Mr. Darcy?” She smiled up at him.

  “Would it be inappropriate for me to tell you how happy I was to receive your letter?”

  Elizabeth, sensible of a certain fluttering inside her, raised an eyebrow. “I doubt it could be any more inappropriate than it was for me to write it in the first place,” she said impertinently. “Perhaps I should be grateful you were not offended.”

  “Hardly, Miss Bennet. If that was offensive, please feel free to offend me at any time.”

  “Are you encouraging me, sir?” she asked with mock disapproval.

  “Very much so.” His gaze turned serious. “I have missed you, Elizabeth,” he said softly, speaking her name as if it were the most intimate of endearments.

  Elizabeth felt an array of sharp sensations course through her. She felt unable to respond, or perhaps more truly that should she attempt to respond, she might say too much, so she limited herself to drawing closer to his side and taking his arm. Though the contact gave her a surge of pleasure, she almost immediately doubted her wisdom in initiating it; she had forgotten the power his touch had on her, and she shivered as she felt his breath in her hair.

  “You are perfectly safe, Miss Bennet. We are in full view of the house,” he said, misinterpreting her reaction.

  “I appreciate your reassurance, sir, but I assure you that I do not feel unsafe.”

  He put his free hand lightly over hers. “I am glad to know that you recognize that I do still have some self-control where you are concerned.”

  “Are we returning to the question of self-control, then, sir?” She looked up at him teasingly.

  “Miss Bennet, I will happily discourse on any subject matter of your choice, but perhaps it would be wiser to focus on patience rather than self-control.”

  Elizabeth felt it safest to change the subject. “I understand that you had the opportunity to see my uncle and aunt Gardiner when you were late in London.”

  He gave her a questioning look. “I did indeed have the pleasure of calling on them,” he said somewhat cautiously.

  “So my aunt told me when I spent several days with them last week.” She added playfully, “It would appear that you have obtained quite an advocate in Mr. Gardiner. He could not praise you enough to my father when he was in London.”

  “I am honored,” said Darcy, “especially as I suspect my reputation with your family can benefit from any advocacy that is available. I assume from my reception earlier that your parents are still unaware of our… more recent encounters?”

  “I assure you that you could not possibly have got away from my mother with the ease you did had she the slightest idea!”

  “Nor, I expect, would I have been allowed to walk out with you alone.”

  Elizabeth blushed. “Fortunately, the Gardiners have been most tactful in that regard, and settle for singing your praises at any opportunity. I have limited myself to noting that you improve upon further acquaintance,” she said playfully, glancing up at him through her lashes with a look of mock seriousness.

  “I hope to have sufficient further acquaintance in which to continue to improve, then, Miss Bennet.”

  “Will you be remaining at Netherfield until the wedding, Mr. Darcy?”

  “No, unfortunately I can stay but two days, as I must return to Pemberley quite shortly owing to a situation there that requires my personal intervention.”

  Elizabeth, startled by the depth of disappointment she felt, said, “I am surprised you would make such a long journey for such a short stay.”

  “Surely, Miss Bennet, you must have known when you wrote to me, that I would not be able to stay away,” he said softly.

  Elizabeth cast her eyes down in embarrassment. “No, sir, in fact I did not know that.”

  “You are less than certain of me? You need not be.”

  “It is difficult to be certain of anything at times such as these.”

  “Elizabeth, you know what my hopes and wishes are.”

  “Mr. Darcy,” she responded slowly, struggling to find the words and the courage to express herself, “while you may rest assured that I receive your words with gratitude and pleasure, please understand that there have been a great many changes in my life of late, sir, not the least of which concern you. A month ago I had every expectation of my four sisters remaining at home with me for some time; now, I face living apart from my dearest Jane for the first time, and I do not expect to see my youngest sister again beyond the briefest of visits. Many things in my family will not be the same again, and I include myself in that. That same month ago I fully expected never to see you again, sir, and certainly in no way could I have foreseen the changes that would occur in a bare three days in Lambton. I have done things I would never have imagined, and I have learned that I did not know myself so well as I had thought.” She paused, and risked a glance at Darcy.

  He looked thoughtful. “And time is needed to accept these changes before facing any others?”

  Elizabeth nodded silently.

  “I can be patient, if I know I have reason to hope.”

  She found herself longing for his touch, and fought her body’s treacherous urges. She forced herself to say, “And there is another, less pleasant matter which must be faced.”

  “And that is?”

  “To my regret, I am forced to call brother a man whose name you rightfully must wish never to hear again.”

  Darcy stopped and turned to face her. With determination, he said slowly, “I will not attempt to conceal that I would wish never to hear of or see George Wickham again, but please understand me clearly, Miss Bennet, I will not allow him to come between you and me. I will not let him cost me what is dearest to me ever again. And if this requires that I acknowledge his existence upon occasion, so be it.”

  Relief coursed through her. “I will endeavor to remember that.”

  “Thank you.”

  Elizabeth, feeling overwhelmed by the import of their conversation, ran her fingers through the flowers as she passed. She paused for a moment, then broke off a sprig of flowers, allowing the sweet scent to soothe her restless spirits. He raised an eyebrow. “Lavender,
Mr. Darcy. It is a favorite of mine.”

  “An unusual favorite—I believe most ladies would choose the rose,” Darcy said, and Elizabeth felt gratitude that he had so well understood her need to move to a more neutral issue.

  “Perhaps what pleases me is different. Lavender is not so bright or showy as roses are, but it is hardier and smells as sweet.”

  “If we are to be choosing flowers for their virtues, perhaps I should give you forget-me-nots.”

  “Then we both favor the flowers of the springtime, for I would have to choose sweet williams for you,” she said daringly.

  Their eyes caught and held. Elizabeth found her breath coming quickly. Darcy reached out a hand and touched the inside of her wrist. “Miss Bennet, I have said I can be patient if I have hope. Can you give me that?”

  Blushing, she said, “I believe you already know the answer to that, Mr. Darcy.”

  “Some answers need to be heard.”

  Elizabeth felt dizzy. “Sir, if I were to follow only the dictates of my heart, you may rest assured that you would be satisfied.”

  The power of his gaze as he gripped her hand tightly was irresistible. He reached out to touch her face, and she became achingly conscious of how little she wished to resist him. Carefully, she looked away, and taking his arm once again, directed them to begin walking again. Lightly, she said, “I would remind you, sir, that we still remain in full view of the house.”

  “But it would be difficult for an observer to see in detail at this distance,” he said, allowing his lips to caress her hair lightly. Placing a finger under her chin, he tipped her face gently up until their eyes met again. “And no one will hear if you call me by my name.”

  She could not resist him. Her longing was evident in her voice as she whispered, “Fitzwilliam.” His eyes blazed, and, as if hypnotized, she watched his face lowering toward hers until she could resist the pull no longer, and raised her lips to his.