Mr. Darcy's Refuge Read online

  “My sympathies,” said Richard. At Darcy’s suspicious look, he added, “No, I mean it. I quite sympathize with your dilemma, since I am now in the same boat. Miss Bennet – Miss Jane Bennet – did me the honor of accepting my hand today.”

  Darcy’s brows drew together. “What? I do not understand. I thought you wanted…. Well, I thought you wanted Elizabeth.”

  “And so I did, but I have since realized Elizabeth was just the precursor for me, the one who ensnared my attention because of her similarity to the woman I was waiting for. When I met my Jane, I had no doubts.”

  “But Bingley is planning to offer for her, and she has been waiting for that!”

  “I realize this comes as a shock to you, but do be sensible, Darcy. When I first met Jane, she was pining for Bingley, yes. But he abandoned her without a word, and what woman wants a man who will not stand by her? I told her directly that Bingley planned to offer for her, and she still accepted me.”

  “This is quite a shock.” Darcy shook his head as if to clear it. “I thought you had only met her a few times.”

  “That was enough. I would have waited longer, had you not told me of Bingley’s intentions toward her. I did not intend to miss my opportunity by moving too slowly.” As he had missed his opportunity with Elizabeth, though that had proved to be a blessing in disguise.

  “You know that her portion is small? It will not provide enough for you to live in the style to which you are accustomed.”

  “And that is what is different. I wanted Elizabeth, I admit it, but only if she brought me money as well. With Jane, it seems irrelevant. All the money in the world could not compensate for losing her. We will make do somehow. I will be giving up my bachelor quarters and we will live with my mother, which will allow me to put some money aside while still providing Jane with the luxuries she deserves. And before you ask – yes, she does know I have little to offer her financially.”

  “That was the least of my concerns. If there is one thing I have learned in the last year, it is that Elizabeth and her sister are not mercenary. However, there is one matter I should mention. It has been my intention to settle some money on the remaining Bennet sisters to augment their portions, but obviously nothing could be done until I marry Elizabeth. Will it offend you if I still do so?”

  Richard laughed. “Only you would ask that, Darcy. As a younger son, I cannot afford to be proud about where money comes from. But it would go into her settlement in any case, which would provide us both some peace of mind, I imagine.”

  “Well, then, there is nothing for me to say but to wish you happy and that you have better luck than I had when you speak to Mr. Bennet.”

  With a grin, Richard replied, “I already did that earlier today, and he gave his consent.”

  “He gave his consent, just like that?” Darcy sounded incredulous. “Damn the man!”

  “I imagine he did so at least in part to annoy you. He does seem to delight in being perverse.”

  “How well I know it! I intend to be civil to him for Elizabeth’s sake, but it will be a long time before I can forgive him for these last few months. But at least I have come to know the Gardiners, who have proved to be among the best people of my acquaintance.”

  “I would have never thought to hear you say that about people in trade, Darcy. Elizabeth has been good for you.”

  “There is no question of that. I only hope to make myself worthy of her.” Darcy frowned. “In the meantime, I had best write to Bingley tonight. I do not expect he will want to travel to Netherfield under these circumstances.”

  ***

  Jane Bennet preserved her usual cheerful demeanor as she climbed into bed beside her sister that night for the very last time, though she was experiencing a startling mix of sentiments. It was hard to truly take in the significance of her last night with Lizzy when every thought was overset with the wonderful surprise of Colonel Fitzwilliam’s offer. That morning she would have considered such a thing to be impossible, and now it was true! But on this important night she must play a different role, that of Lizzy’s sister.

  She tried to put her own joy out of her mind in her concern for her sister. “Lizzy?”

  “Yes?”

  “Are you worried about tomorrow?”

  “I have not had time to worry, to tell you the truth. It has been so difficult to reach this point that I feel more as if my troubles are over. Apart from leaving you, I have no regrets. Is that wrong of me?”

  “Of course not! Tomorrow should be the happiest day of your life.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “I hope not, since I plan to have a great many days that are even happier in the future! And I hope we will see each other very often. Will you come to visit at Pemberley? The Gardiners are to come at Christmastime, but it would make me happy if you stayed longer.”

  “Well…” Yesterday Jane would have been delighted with this invitation, but now she hoped to be married by then.

  “Naturally, if you would prefer not to…” Elizabeth’s cheery voice sounded forced.

  “Of course I want to see you! It is just…” Jane, unpracticed at deception, felt wretchedly guilty at her inability to explain herself, especially on this night of all nights. What would Lizzy think? She screwed up her courage and said, “There is something I must tell you, something that happened today, and I hope you will not be troubled about it since I am very happy about it, so please try to be happy for me.”

  “Dearest Jane, you are babbling! What is the matter?”

  Jane took a deep breath, then said quickly, “Colonel Fitzwilliam made me an offer today and I accepted him. I know you must think it very strange since he offered for you not so long ago, but I hold him in the very highest regard, and he had a reason for speaking so quickly and…”

  “This is wonderful news!” Elizabeth hugged her tightly. “Quite unexpected, I admit, but how could you think I would not be happy for you? I am pleased for both of you – for your sake, for having found a man as amiable as you are, and for his sake, for choosing to follow his heart rather than his pocketbook. I so hated the thought of his marrying without affection! And I am very glad to hear that he no longer thinks of me. I never truly believed that he cared deeply for me, and you are so much better of a match for him. Oh, Jane!”

  “You do not think less of me for it?”

  “How could I think such a thing! But are you sure he is the one you want? I did not want to say anything before, but Mr. Bingley is intending to return to Netherfield, and I know he wants to see you. If you are accepting the colonel because you think you cannot have Mr. Bingley, you should not give up your chance of happiness with him.”

  “I know it must seem odd that I would transfer my affections so readily. If I had not met Colonel Fitzwilliam, I would likely still be pining for Mr. Bingley, but the reason I stopped thinking of him is not that the colonel took his place, but rather that he made me see what Mr. Bingley had been lacking all along. Do you remember the first time the colonel came to Longbourn? He was amiable, even when our father was being so unkind, but he did not back down. He did not hesitate to speak of his sympathy for the French, and he did not apologize for it. Mr. Bingley’s amiability is such that he cannot bear to argue with anyone. The colonel is both amiable and knows his own mind, and that is far superior. He is not wealthy, but I know that I can depend on him, no matter what may befall us.”

  “I cannot argue with you on that point. Mr. Bingley is a good man, but he has not the colonel’s strength of mind. He will make you very happy. And I am also delighted for a very selfish reason – because you will be marrying a man who is already a close friend of my almost-husband! Is it odd that I am perfectly calm about marrying him tomorrow, but that calling him my husband still seems like an impossibility?”

  Jane giggled. “I feel just the same way!”

  Chapter 21

  Mr. Bennet came downstairs on the day of the wedding for the first time since his heart seizure. If he did not seem in particularly high spirit
s, at least Elizabeth could discern no sign of either illness or displeasure.

  The wedding party was a tight fit in the sitting room, even with most of the furniture moved aside, but somehow they managed to find room for all the principals as well as Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner and their four children. Jenny had refused to be left behind in the nursery, although she was still somewhat confused as to why this marriage was taking place when, as far as she was concerned, Darcy and Elizabeth had always been married. Still, her mother had always told her that the ways of the gentry were passing strange, so perhaps they all repeated their weddings at regular intervals. It made little difference to her, especially with the promise of cream cakes afterwards.

  It was a touching ceremony in which no one could doubt the affection the bride and groom felt for each other, and both Mrs. Gardiner and Jane had tears in their eyes. After the vows were all said, the cream cakes devoured, and the bridal couple departed for Darcy House with many good wishes and warm embraces, Mr. Gardiner turned to his brother-in-law Bennet and said affectionately, “You old fraud.”

  “Me? Whatever do you mean?”

  Mr. Gardiner chuckled. “That heart seizure was real, I grant you, but convincing those poor children that you had changed your mind about their marriage solely because you were nigh on your death bed and needed to protect your family? Would it have been so hard simply to admit you were wrong?”

  “That boy is too certain of himself as it is,” grumbled Mr. Bennet. “It’ll do him good to be kept guessing.”

  His brother-in-law did not miss the lack of a denial of his accusation. “As I said, you are an old fraud. Come, let us go to my study. I purchased some fine port for the occasion.”

  “As long as it is not barley broth, I will drink anything! I hope to never see another drop of that in my life.”

  Mr. Gardiner clapped him on the shoulder. “Well, then, if you are very good, perhaps you can even have some solid food, since you have made such a miraculous recovery. And this way we will not have to watch the new set of lovebirds bill and coo.”

  ***

  Darcy could hardly believe it. Mr. Bennet had looked so hale that Darcy had steeled himself for the possibility that he would change his mind and refuse to allow the wedding to proceed. But Mr. Bennet had not rescinded his permission at the last minute, and Elizabeth was now his wife. He had not breathed easily until the vows were said, and then the entire world seemed a much finer place to him.

  Now she was sitting beside him in the curricle. Hoping to be able to kiss his new bride, Darcy had planned to use a closed carriage to give them privacy, but the morning had dawned unusually hot and humid, and a closed carriage would have been oppressively close. Nothing, though, could keep him from touching her hand or tracing a finger down the exposed skin of her arm, and it aroused him mightily when she shivered despite the sun burning down on them.

  A little conversation might be the only thing to keep him sane on the journey to Darcy House. “Your father looked well this morning.”

  “I noticed that as well, although I admit to having a few distractions.” Elizabeth gave him an arch smile.

  “Do you know how long he plans to stay in London?”

  “He has not said, but I assume he plans to remain until after Lydia’s wedding next week.”

  Darcy was even feeling beneficent toward Lydia Bennet today. Through all the trouble she had created, she was ultimately responsible for Mr. Bennet’s change of heart, and that had saved Darcy four long months of separation from Elizabeth. Yes, while he detested the connection to Wickham, right now he could not even muster annoyance with Lydia.

  “Will we still be able to stay at Netherfield for a time, do you think?”

  The same question had crossed his mind several times since hearing his cousin’s news. “It might be best not to depend upon it. Bingley was unhappy with me already, and having had his hopes raised only to be dashed will not help.”

  “Surely he cannot blame you for failing to know Jane’s true sentiments!”

  “That he would likely forgive, but the conclusion he drew from our engagement was a different one. He believes that I discouraged him from marrying Jane because I did not think him good enough to marry my future sister.”

  “But that is ridiculous! You had not even thought of offering for me at that point.”

  “Oh, I had thought of it far too often; I was just able to convince myself that I would be able to forget you after I left Netherfield. By the time I saw you at Rosings, I knew the fallacy of that. I could not forget you no matter how hard I tried. Still, while Bingley’s suppositions are far from the truth, I cannot prove that to him, and the fact that my cousin swooped in and engaged Jane’s affections just when Bingley decided to return may confirm his suspicions.” In a few days, Bingley’s defection would no doubt be painful, but he would not let it ruin today. “I made a very serious mistake, and Bingley is paying for it.”

  “You made a very serious mistake? I may disagree with the advice you gave him, but it was just that: advice. Bingley is the one who made the mistake, not you.”

  “I knew he would follow my advice. Bingley is most unaffectedly modest. His diffidence prevented his depending on his own judgment, but his reliance on mine made everything easy.”

  “Yes, and your propensity is to take responsibility for everything, no matter whether it is in your purview or not. Your aunt’s tenants, Jenny, Wickham, Bingley – as soon as someone crosses your path, they become your responsibility, and if anything happens to them, it is your fault. Pardon me, but Mr. Bingley is a grown man, and it was his choice to follow your advice and not his own heart.”

  “Are we having an argument not two hours after our wedding?” he asked mildly.

  Elizabeth laughed. “If we are, I predict it is one we will have on a regular basis. I admire your sense of responsibility, but sometimes you do carry it to an extreme. You will have to accustom yourself to being teased about it. From time to time it is acceptable to do what you wish rather than what you think you ought to do.”

  “You are not the first person to say that, I admit. Very well, I will strive to do better.” And very soon indeed, he thought smugly.

  He reined in the horses in front of Darcy House. “Welcome home, my love.”

  Elizabeth tilted her head backward to examine the townhouse façade as Darcy handed her out of the curricle. The front door was already opening; his butler had clearly been watching for them in hopes of impressing the new mistress. Darcy ignored him, however. Instead, when they reached the doorway, he said in Elizabeth’s ear, “The responsible thing for me to do now would be to take you on a tour of the house, introduce you to the staff, and allow them to serve us the elegant dinner they have no doubt been working hard to produce. But since you wish me to practice less responsibility, I am forced instead to do what I wish.”

  He swept her up in his arms and carried her across the threshold, but did not stop there. Over his shoulder, he said to the startled butler, “This is Mrs. Darcy. We do not wish to be disturbed.”

  “Of course, sir,” the butler murmured.

  Darcy was already carrying the laughing Elizabeth up the grand staircase and directly through his anteroom into his bedroom. He kicked the door closed behind them, then deposited his bride directly on the bed.

  “You do not waste time, sir!” Elizabeth teased, but he could sense a hint of nervousness behind it.˝

  “I am following your instructions, my dear,” he said with mock austerity. “And right now what I wish to do is to show you what I would have done that day in the hollow at Pemberley had I trusted my self-control more. I have given this matter substantial thought.” In fact, he had played it out in his mind more times than he could count.

  Elizabeth raised a dubious eyebrow. “And you trust your self-control more now?”

  He lost no time in joining her on the bed, raising himself on one elbow as he trailed his finger lightly from her chin to the base of her neck, and then lower until it
was poised just above the neckline of her dress. “Yes.” He plunged his finger between the delicious softness of her breasts, eliciting a gasp from her, then continued in a softer, more intimate tone. “Self-control will be much easier since this time I know I will not have to stop. Now, if you will be so kind as to cast your mind back to that day….”

  “Very well, but your bed is much softer than the ground, and there is not a stick poking into my back.”

  He stopped her teasing mouth with a probing kiss as he removed his finger, but only in order to curve his hand around the temptation of her breast. “Perhaps you remember this part,” he said conversationally as he allowed his lips to drift to her throat, planting light, tantalizing kisses along the sensitive skin until Elizabeth’s breath was ragged and she tipped her head back, exposing more of herself to his explorations and mutely inviting him to turn his attentions lower.

  God, he had dreamed of this so often since that day, of tasting the slight salt tang of the top of her breasts as his nostrils filled with the scent of rosewater and Elizabeth. Intoxicated by her nearness, he skimmed his thumb over the tip of her breast, feeling it tighten and grow hard. Her moan was all the invitation he needed to take advantage of her response, his fingers now toying with her nipple through the smooth silk of her dress, squeezing and rolling it until her body began to move involuntarily.