Mr. Darcy's Undoing Page 20

  “Oh, my sweetest Lizzy!” she cried. “Mr. Darcy! Who would have thought it! How rich and how great you will be! What pin-money, what jewels, what carriages you will have! Jane’s is nothing to it—nothing at all. How clever you were, to break your engagement to Mr. Covington! You should have told me it was for Mr. Darcy. And to move to Netherfield, so you could be near him—I could not have planned it better myself. Oh, I am so pleased—so happy!”

  “Indeed, I am glad you are satisfied,” said Elizabeth gravely, amused by her rapid elevation from disgrace to success, “though I did not break off my engagement so that I might marry Mr. Darcy.”

  “Of course not—but so clever of you to wait so long until he returned here so no one would suspect.”

  Elizabeth was grateful this subject was dropped by the time they went into the house. The subject soon turned to her wedding, a matter which provoked some conflict, as Mrs. Bennet had quite different ideas as to what sort of event it should be. Elizabeth and Darcy, supported in this case by Mr. Bennet and Mr. Bingley, prevailed in their insistence on a quiet ceremony, with the understanding that Elizabeth’s situation with Mr. Covington made anything else inappropriate. Darcy would not be moved from the idea of the briefest engagement possible.

  “As it is only a fortnight,” said Mr. Bennet, looking over his glasses at Elizabeth, “I think it will not be too great a trial for you to return to Longbourn for this period. Now that your engagement is formal, you cannot remain at Netherfield.”

  “We have your old room quite ready for you,” Mrs. Bennet added. “Tomorrow Lady Lucas is coming to call, and she will be delighted to see you.”

  Elizabeth’s eyes met Darcy’s across the table. He looked at her to encourage her, clearly in agreement with her parents in this matter. Turning to her father, she said slowly, “No, I think it unnecessary. Netherfield is my home now, and I will be married from there.”

  She did not dare look at Darcy to see his reaction, and she knew it would be well hidden in any case for the circumstances, but she felt his gaze throughout her body. It strengthened her, and she remained firm as her family urged her to reconsider. Finally, seeing that she would not relent, Mr. Bennet noted that Jane and Miss Darcy would provide adequate chaperonage, eyeing Darcy with a look which could not be misinterpreted.

  Darcy’s manners through dinner and afterwards were impeccable. There was no hint of impropriety in his conduct towards Elizabeth, even so much as a glance which could be misinterpreted. This was not merely to satisfy Mr. Bennet, but also to protect Georgiana; he did not wish to distress her any further, nor give her any more grounds to suspect him. He would have to be much more careful in finding time alone with Elizabeth, but after their earlier discussion, he could not even consider avoiding any intimacies for the next fortnight.

  He was so successful in his endeavour as to leave Elizabeth in a certain amount of doubt as to his actual response to her decision to remain at Netherfield. It crossed her mind that he might have preferred to have temptation removed, particularly in order to shield Georgiana, and she hoped he was not angry. If he was, she determined with slight annoyance, she would remind him that all he need do was maintain his reserve, and she would not tempt him.

  She was inclined to think he was probably not angry, but was disturbed enough by the possibility as to somewhat avoid his eyes on the carriage ride back to Netherfield. By the time they had arrived, Darcy was not unaware that something was troubling her, and had an unhappy suspicion of what it concerned.

  Once they were inside, he drew her off from the others slightly to speak quietly in her ear. “You need not be anxious on my account, beloved. I will accept whatever rules you make without complaint.”

  “You are not disturbed at my decision, then?” Her voice indicated her worry.

  “Disturbed? Not at all. The only thing which is likely to be disturbed by your presence here is my sleep, knowing you are only a few doors away.” He said this last with a slight smile.

  She looked down, her cheeks flushed. “If that,” she said very softly.

  “Elizabeth!” he said, his voice a combination of pleasure, astonishment, and urgent desire. With two words she had completely undermined him; it was all he could do not to carry her away at that moment.

  There was no further opportunity to speak; Bingley invited Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam to his study for drinks, and he did not dare draw any attention by refusing. Elizabeth, with a last glance at his retreating back, went with Jane and Georgiana to begin discussing the wedding, now that the engagement was official. The occasion could not seem to take on any reality for her, though—it was as if the important event had already occurred in her finally accepting him, and all the rest was detail. She wished she could be with Darcy; even in such a brief separation as this, she missed him with what felt like a painful urgency.

  The gentlemen returned just as the ladies were preparing to retire for the evening. Darcy continued to appear composed and collected, but when he took her aside under the pretext of saying a private good night, it was clear his appearance did not reflect his state of mind. His eyes caressed her as he murmured, “If you choose to let me into your room tonight, my love, I will not be leaving.”

  Elizabeth’s eyes widened slightly. She had not quite intended that in her earlier suggestion, having thought more of a repeat of the previous night. “I… will keep that in mind, should I be faced with the decision,” she delayed, the rush of heat through her body seeming to interfere with clear thought. “And would this be the gentleman or the tiger?” she asked with an arch look.

  His eyes drifted slowly downwards, taking in her figure. “The gentleman would never have made such a suggestion,” he said suggestively.

  “I see,” Elizabeth replied, a bit breathlessly.

  “You did suggest that I allow that side of me freer rein, as I recall.” His dark eyes were intense. “I warned you that you might not realize what you were taking on.”

  “So you did.” Her mouth was dry.

  “You can always reconsider,” he said, in a voice which suggested he certainly hoped she did not. Then, in a more normal voice, designed to be overheard, he added, “I will bid you good night, then.”

  She gave him a mischievous look. “Good night, William. I hope you sleep well.”

  His eyes seemed to imply he would be exacting revenge for that remark later on, but he merely kissed her hand lightly.

  Elizabeth was unsure how serious Darcy had been about coming to her room, and equally unsure of what she would do if he did. She had only just changed into her nightclothes when a knock came at the door. She certainly had not been expecting him yet—the household was still awake, but her heart was pounding as she went to the door, and opened it to find Georgiana.

  “I am sorry to disturb you—I had hoped you were not asleep,” said the girl anxiously.

  “No, not at all,” replied Elizabeth, struggling to regain her equanimity after finding the wrong Darcy at her door.

  “I was wondering… well, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a few minutes.”

  “Of course,” Elizabeth said warmly. “Shall we go to your room? Mine is quite chilly, I must admit, and only bearable when I huddle under the covers.” And your brother is unlikely to walk into your room, she thought.

  When they had reached Georgiana’s room and were well settled, Georgiana, after thanking her repeatedly for being willing to talk to her, said, “I wanted you to know… well, I was thinking after we talked this morning that you must think me a fool for… permitting Mr. Wickham’s advances. I did not want you to think I was like that—I do know better, and I do not know what came over me to allow him to… I am so very ashamed of it.” She looked beseechingly at Elizabeth.

  “I assure you, I thought nothing of the sort,” replied Elizabeth kindly, as it was clear Georgiana had been feeling ashamed all day of what she had confessed. “I hav
e no doubt it was quite out of character for you, and could only happen because he could be so charming, and he knew how to manipulate you so well. And you were very young, and unprotected—it would have been a miracle if nothing had happened.”

  “I should never have permitted it,” she said sadly.

  This was clearly not going to be a brief discussion, and Elizabeth settled herself in for an extended period of reassurance, not without wondering what Darcy might be doing at the same moment.

  Chapter 10

  Elizabeth eased Georgiana’s sleeping head off her shoulder and slipped out of the bed. Tucking the bedclothes around the girl, she took the lamp and left as quietly as she could. She was halfway to her own room when she remembered Darcy. Had he come and found her gone? Or thought she was refusing to answer the door to him? Or had he never come at all?

  She opened the door not to find the expected darkness, but instead the light of another lamp. It rested on her bedside table, illuminating the shape of the man sitting on her bed, reading her book. She started at the sight, then her pulses began to flutter as Darcy looked up at her, an unreadable expression in his dark eyes.

  He said conversationally, “I was beginning to wonder when I might see you.”

  A saucy smile curved her lips. “I apologize for keeping you waiting, sir. I hope you found some way to amuse yourself in my absence.”

  He looked down at the book in his hand as if uncertain how it had found its way there. “Not as well as I should have liked to have been amused.”

  She raised her eyebrow at his remarkably level tone, wondering what he was thinking. “You were preempted by your sister, I am afraid, who asked to speak to me. I went to her room, just in case any gentlemen might turn up at my door, which could have been a most embarrassing circumstance. As it happened, she had a great deal to say. She just fell asleep in my arms after a long bout of tears.”

  A light flickered in his eyes. “I was planning to fall asleep in your arms tonight,” he said. “How fortunate that you have a reasonable excuse to present for your absence. So, what did my dear sister have to say that was so urgent?”

  She smiled at his combination of seductiveness, petulance, and concern. “We covered a rather extensive range, I must say, starting with a very detailed account of what happened at Ramsgate, with a discourse on Mrs. Younge, and then moved on to your mother’s death and her loneliness when she was sent off to school, and I believe we had reached her fears of living in London when she finally fell asleep. When your sister decides to say her piece, sir, she does not do it by halves.”

  “I am,” he said, standing and walking over to her, “astonished.”

  “And, were it not for your other agenda for the evening, you might even be gratified,” she teased.

  “I have not given up on my agenda for the evening.” His hands busied themselves with the belt of her dressing gown.

  Elizabeth’s knees seemed to grow weak. She could think of nothing to say, but merely looked into his eyes. She did not know how it had come to pass, but in the last day, since she had at last accepted him, she had taken him into her heart to an extent she could barely begin to comprehend. Perhaps it was because she had struggled against caring for him for so long, or because she had despaired of ever having him for so long, but once she had given way, she had done so completely, leaving no part of herself uncommitted to him.

  He held the ends of her belt in his hands. “I was worried about you, Elizabeth,” he said, his visage serious.

  This was not what she had expected to hear. “Worried about me? Why?”

  “I had every reason to think you would be here when I came, and you were not, and then you did not return for a long time. I could not imagine where you might have gone to, or what might have happened to you.”

  “What could possibly have happened to me between the drawing room and here that could cause you worry?”

  “You might have decided to take a walk in the moonlight, and become lost, or hurt. And I could do nothing about it—I could not start a search for you, for how would I explain knowing you were missing? Or perhaps you were avoiding me—perhaps you could not tell me what you truly thought.” His voice was very controlled.

  “William,” she said, with just a touch of exasperation, “did it not occur to you there was likely a perfectly reasonable explanation for my absence?”

  He crushed her into his arms. Burying his face in her neck, he said, “Of course it did. But I have waited for you for so long, and I am so afraid of losing you, or that you might have a change of heart about me—I could not bear it, Elizabeth.”

  She put her arms around him comfortingly. “I know—I feel the same,” she said softly, kissing his shoulder. “I will not have a change of heart, you know—my heart has been yours for a very long time now. You may depend upon it.”

  She could feel the tense muscles of his back through the fine lawn of his shirt. Never before had she been able to sense his body as well as she could now in the absence of his coats, and she stroked his back slowly, appreciating the shape and closeness of him. He seemed to relax somewhat under her ministrations, and she enjoyed the comforting feeling of having her head against his shoulder.

  It was not clear to her when it changed to something else, when his warm breath on her neck turned to kisses so light she did not at first recognize them as such, nor when his hands first began to move along the silky fabric of her dressing gown. Her body recognized it almost instinctively, as she began to feel the heat of his body against hers. It was unmistakable, though, when he released her momentarily, only to slip his hands inside her gown and recapture her, but with only the thin barrier of her summer nightdress between his hands and her. She shivered at the intimacy as his hands travelled first up her back, his fingers exploring, then back down to discover the curves of her hips, stroking gently, then, as he felt her response to his touch, pressing her against him.

  His kisses became more assertive as she arched herself against him, craving the pleasure of his body against hers. There had never before been so little between them when he held her, and she could feel his warmth against her breasts, making her long for his touch there as well. As an unbearable tension developed within her, she knew she would have to make her decision soon, or it would be made for her by her own desire and the ache in her secret places.

  His lips were exploring the sensitive hollow at the base of her neck as she said shakily, “I thought you said you would stay if I made the choice to let you in my room; yet you made that choice for me, it seems.”

  He raised his head to look at her, his eyes dark with passion and his hair disheveled. “So I did,” he said in a low but unrepentant voice. He drew his hand upward until it cupped her breast, then, as he felt her quick intake of breath, stroked her nipple lightly with his thumb. He smiled as her eyes closed in response to the sensation. “Well, loveliest Elizabeth, will you let me in?” He brought his fingers together so as better to toy with her sensitive flesh as he nuzzled her ear.

  Elizabeth, overcome with the heady delight coursing through her at his touch, only knew she could not bear for him to stop yet. A soft moan passed her lips as all coherent thought fled her.

  He was in no hurry, and the sound of her quick breaths and sighs of pleasure was music to his ears. As her excitement began to rise, and she pressed herself against his hand as if asking for more, he judged it was time. Seductively he said, “What is it to be, then? Should I stop—” he paused his action for just a moment, “or would you perhaps like my mouth there instead? You will remember that I did warn you I would use your own responses against you.”

  She could not stand for this pleasure to end, not when her other breast ached for his touch as well and an unmistakable sense of heat built between her legs. “Please,” she whispered, “do not stop.”

  A smile of triumph crossed his face. Ever since Elizabeth had suggested he might let lo
ose his self-control when with her, it was as if he had just been biding his time for this moment when he could avail himself of her sanction. He no longer cared that it was not how a gentleman would treat a lady; all he wanted was to have her, but not until he had given her as much pleasure as she could bear and brought her to the heights of wild passion of the Elizabeth of his dreams. No, she would not be a lady tonight, lying passively beneath him; he had something quite different in mind.

  He found a sense of release in giving up the last vestiges of his self-control, in finally allowing himself to be gripped by urges so forbidden to a gentleman, in calling a halt to any pretense that he wanted nothing more of Elizabeth than a kiss on the hand. He did not know how he would ever regain that restraint, but for the moment, he did not care.

  He dropped to one knee in front of her. “Such an excellent attitude must be rewarded,” he said as he drew her nipple into his mouth through the fabric of her gown. He was not ready to give her everything she wanted, not yet, but he stimulated her with his lips and his teeth until her body was no longer steady under his ministrations and she leaned her hands upon his shoulders for support. He dropped his arm to bunch the hem of her nightdress in his hand until he could reach under it easily to stroke the forbidden skin of her leg, gratified as her hips involuntarily pressed forwards against him.

  With a last taste, he withdrew from her breast and stood. In her face he could read the untamed desire he had waited so long to see. He kissed her lightly, then penetrated her mouth with his tongue, exploring her thoroughly until she clung helplessly to him, meeting his invasion with her own.

  God, he wanted her, but even now she was not yet enough his. “More?” he asked thickly, and as she nodded dreamily, he moved behind her and lifted her dressing gown from her shoulders. Once that obstacle was removed, he pulled her back against him so that she could feel his arousal, and caught her breasts with his hands once more for another round of pleasuring. She leaned her head back against him, and his hands moved up to the ties of her nightdress, disposing of them quickly until he could push the garment down over her shoulders to reveal her rounded breasts.